12.09.07(navigation)

-Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.
-There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
-Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
-When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
-Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
-It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.
-James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
-Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
-You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
-The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
-Chuck Norris once worked as a weatherman for the San Diego evening news. Every night he would make the same forecast: Partly cloudy with a 75% chance of Pain.
-Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
-Chuck Norris built a better mousetrap, but the world was too frightened to beat a path to his door.
-Chuck Norris is expected to win gold in every swimming competition at the 2008 Beijing Olympics, even though Chuck Norris does not swim. This is because when Chuck Norris enters the water, the water gets out of his way and Chuck Norris simply walks across the pool floor.
-The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck roundhouse-kicked Sauron’s ass halfway through the first chapter.
-Chuck Norris does not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.
-Chuck Norris did in fact, build Rome in a day.
-When Chuck Norris was a baby, he didn't suck his mother's breast. His mother served him whiskey, straight out of the bottle.

Later aligator...

Arctis J. Crawford
(12.09.07)